However I also acknowledge that obviously there are things in life we cannot control. So when I am in a time of non-control over a big issue, I just make sure I focus on the things I can control (my own household, my normal everyday routine, my work, my reading, all the things that keep me grounded).
My mum has dementia. It is horrible. Its scary and its bloody sad. I lost my father nearly 4 yrs ago so us kids (with our own young families) are trying to navigate this new world. Totally out of my control. I have my moments but I just try to keep that routine for myself that I can control & try to just navigate my mum one day at a time.
I walk - a lot. Headphones blasting with a good poddy or music. Just by myself. Fresh air & alone time to get on top of the emotions & bring me back down. I also do a few gym classes a week that I love - I can go, sweat, be told what to do by the trainer and be around others that really dont know anything about my life and my struggles and I can just another gym member. Its good for the soul.
Manda, I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I always remember her as such a bubbly, energetic, full of life woman. This must be so hard for all of you, especially after what you went through with your dad. All my love to you all xx
I can relate I’ve been going to an outdoors exercise class for around 8 months now. It’s a bunch of ladies all ages and sizes sweating and having a laugh. It’s a quick session around 30 mins 4 times a week. Each one is different today we did a circuit some weights, squats, stretch etc. I think the fact that it’s 30 mins after I finish work is an advantage otherwise I’d get home and start doing stuff or feel tired and not go. My kids often come to when Hubbie is working. My kids did laugh at me today as I shoved chocolate in my mouth on the way to class. I’m feeling stronger physically and mentally amongst the craziness of perimenopause and work the biggest thing for me is we turn up and just give it a go. Try it out find some like minded people the thought of a gym just freaks me out maybe even get a few friends together to go walking and talking if it ends at a cafe even better. Nothing is prepared for dinner tonight so we are having cereal and that’s ok too 💗
This sounds wonderful! I spent some time afternoon googling local gyms to see if there was one that might be a good fit. But I think I’ll just have to go & give some a try 😬
oh Reannon, you've been in my thoughts so much lately and now i know why.
I am very much team control as much as i can when the thing i really want to control isn't possible. I don't know that I get any one thing under control but I work like crazy, making sure I'm always busy, no time to think or be swept up in the horrible what ifs. I don't think this is a good strategy and would not recommend.
I am a believer in the benefit of physical movement, for me in must be outdoors in nature, and these days I sweat, thanks menopause. When life was really chaotic and scary I cycled, that was helpful, now i walk. I swim once a week and find doing laps really calming and clearing for my mind.
I think you just have to try lots of things until you find what works for you, and when it stops working try something else.
I wish I was a swimmer (I’m terrible!) because it looks so mediate when I watch people doing laps. I think I just have to find the courage to get out & try some things.
I’m not a great swimmer and when i started doing laps 30 metres was my limit. Now I can do 600 in my half hr pool booking without stopping. I watched some YouTube to help me with my breathing. But if swimming is t your thing just floating around on a pool noodle is pretty relaxing too.
Hi R, yes I do this too, I seek control when something’s (largely) out of my control.
My list-writing goes up a notch. Seeking order for what I can control, and also an expression of hope for the future, I think.
At rock bottom, I have furiously scrawled everything out of my head and onto paper, thrust it at my husband to read (impossible task because my handwriting was so bad) because I wanted him to know what was going on inside my head, then bin or burn it. That only helped me in the moment, as I recall.
But back to you. It sounds like your body knows what it needs. Just go with it. If you need to work up a sweat, do it when/if the thought/energy strikes you. I have found long walks a help in the past, starting them in a foul mood but always feeling, even if only slightly, better afterwards. Along the beach is my best.
I like how you added YET to the things you’re thinking of doing. Just making future maybe-plans is good for the soul, I think. It doesn’t matter if other priorities are taking up all the headspace and energy right now; other things can wait.
Absolute control freak over here.
However I also acknowledge that obviously there are things in life we cannot control. So when I am in a time of non-control over a big issue, I just make sure I focus on the things I can control (my own household, my normal everyday routine, my work, my reading, all the things that keep me grounded).
My mum has dementia. It is horrible. Its scary and its bloody sad. I lost my father nearly 4 yrs ago so us kids (with our own young families) are trying to navigate this new world. Totally out of my control. I have my moments but I just try to keep that routine for myself that I can control & try to just navigate my mum one day at a time.
I walk - a lot. Headphones blasting with a good poddy or music. Just by myself. Fresh air & alone time to get on top of the emotions & bring me back down. I also do a few gym classes a week that I love - I can go, sweat, be told what to do by the trainer and be around others that really dont know anything about my life and my struggles and I can just another gym member. Its good for the soul.
Biggest of hugs to you xx
Manda, I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I always remember her as such a bubbly, energetic, full of life woman. This must be so hard for all of you, especially after what you went through with your dad. All my love to you all xx
I can relate I’ve been going to an outdoors exercise class for around 8 months now. It’s a bunch of ladies all ages and sizes sweating and having a laugh. It’s a quick session around 30 mins 4 times a week. Each one is different today we did a circuit some weights, squats, stretch etc. I think the fact that it’s 30 mins after I finish work is an advantage otherwise I’d get home and start doing stuff or feel tired and not go. My kids often come to when Hubbie is working. My kids did laugh at me today as I shoved chocolate in my mouth on the way to class. I’m feeling stronger physically and mentally amongst the craziness of perimenopause and work the biggest thing for me is we turn up and just give it a go. Try it out find some like minded people the thought of a gym just freaks me out maybe even get a few friends together to go walking and talking if it ends at a cafe even better. Nothing is prepared for dinner tonight so we are having cereal and that’s ok too 💗
This sounds wonderful! I spent some time afternoon googling local gyms to see if there was one that might be a good fit. But I think I’ll just have to go & give some a try 😬
oh Reannon, you've been in my thoughts so much lately and now i know why.
I am very much team control as much as i can when the thing i really want to control isn't possible. I don't know that I get any one thing under control but I work like crazy, making sure I'm always busy, no time to think or be swept up in the horrible what ifs. I don't think this is a good strategy and would not recommend.
I am a believer in the benefit of physical movement, for me in must be outdoors in nature, and these days I sweat, thanks menopause. When life was really chaotic and scary I cycled, that was helpful, now i walk. I swim once a week and find doing laps really calming and clearing for my mind.
I think you just have to try lots of things until you find what works for you, and when it stops working try something else.
I wish I was a swimmer (I’m terrible!) because it looks so mediate when I watch people doing laps. I think I just have to find the courage to get out & try some things.
I’m not a great swimmer and when i started doing laps 30 metres was my limit. Now I can do 600 in my half hr pool booking without stopping. I watched some YouTube to help me with my breathing. But if swimming is t your thing just floating around on a pool noodle is pretty relaxing too.
Learning to swim properly is something I’d love to do
Thanks so much. Life can certainly be a cruel bitch when it wants to but we just keep pushing on.
I miss her. There's no light in her eyes & she is just lost & aged considerably.
Hope you are ok and sending you a big cuddle X
I am ok & I hope you are too. Sending all my love xx
Hi R, yes I do this too, I seek control when something’s (largely) out of my control.
My list-writing goes up a notch. Seeking order for what I can control, and also an expression of hope for the future, I think.
At rock bottom, I have furiously scrawled everything out of my head and onto paper, thrust it at my husband to read (impossible task because my handwriting was so bad) because I wanted him to know what was going on inside my head, then bin or burn it. That only helped me in the moment, as I recall.
But back to you. It sounds like your body knows what it needs. Just go with it. If you need to work up a sweat, do it when/if the thought/energy strikes you. I have found long walks a help in the past, starting them in a foul mood but always feeling, even if only slightly, better afterwards. Along the beach is my best.
I like how you added YET to the things you’re thinking of doing. Just making future maybe-plans is good for the soul, I think. It doesn’t matter if other priorities are taking up all the headspace and energy right now; other things can wait.
Keep daydreaming my friend.
Thanks for sharing.
Look after YOU too.
Big hugs,
Julie xx
I feel like lists & thinking about what could help is good for me. It shows me that there is something beyond the now.
I’m happy walking by any body of water I feel like I need something a bit more physical right now 🥊🥊🥊
You go girl! 👊