March 2025

where are you Autumn....

Friends, the last week or so has not been good for my emotional well-being. I want so desperately to blame my perimenopausal hormones but who knows why I want to cry all the time or why I feel the need to retreat from the world once again. I am taking my meds but still, a cloud of melancholy hangs over me. I burst into tears over breakfast. I watch reruns of The Big Bang Theory that I’ve watched numerous times before. Substacks and emails remain unread because I can’t people the way I like. I watch pimple videos on YouTube (always a giveaway that I’m not doing well). I don’t want to leave the house but because I’m a dumb grown up I bloody have to. I only want to eat white carbs and sugar-laden foods. I put my cosiest pyjamas on as soon as I get home from school pick up. I get into bed each night bone weary but i am unable to sleep. I wake up thinking “I just want the sky to be grey instead of blue and to stay in bed instead of going to work”. I am not my best self. I have been here before and it’s just as annoying as it always is. It feels like a permanent state of PMS but my period never comes!

Still, life persists! When I saw the picture below on Pinterest (I cannot find the original artist despite googling the name I can see at the bottom of the canvas) I took it as the universe seeing me struggle.

March has (almost) been and gone. Perth decided it was still high Summer. And I am off to the Doctor after work today to demand HRT. How are things with you?

READING: Only 4 books this month with my favourite being My Name is Lucy Barton by Elizabeth Strout. I am currently listening to the second book in the Amgash series and really enjoying it. I am also reading Parenting Different by Sarah Hayden.

PLAYING: games on my phone. They have been my salve this month. I am still busting blocks but started a new game where you match cards to move through levels. I like that I have to think and strategise.

WATCHING: Went to the movies with a client to see Snow White, and it was fine. Loving that the F1 is back. Still watching The White Lotus but only to see who is floating in the pool. Have been hooked on YouTube videos of the Bad Friend podcast

TRYING: not to cry all the time LOL

COOKING: made this Chilli Con Carne for dinner and didn’t have tinned tomatoes so threw a big container of Kirkland (Costco’s brand) salsa in as a substitute and it was really nice. I’ve made the exact recipe plenty of times and it is also great.

EATING: Wagon Wheel Hot Cross Buns from Coles. Mini twirls, at least two, after dinner. Cheese toasties when I can’t think of anything for lunch or breakfast. Pascal’s marshmallows around 4 pm. All very comforting but not very nutritious.

PINNING/SAVING: links to books and courses about autism and ADHD. If you have any recs I’d love to hear them because I feel like I need advice and understanding right now despite being in this realm for over a decade now

MAKING: I’ve just started a big granny square blanket for my sister’s baby, which is due in October!!! How exciting!

LOVING: my husband. He has been very kind and supportive while I have been feeling low.

DISLIKING: the heat this week. It should not be 39 degrees in the last weekend of March!

FEELING: lonely. It is hard when you are going through things and nobody you know shares the same experience. It can feel very isolating.

LISTENING: to this Beebadoobee track

BUYING: those leopard shoes from last month’s recap! They went on sale!!!! I am trying not to shop my feelings or buy many new things this year but I couldn’t resist. And they are comfortable. PHEW!

WEARING: my new, secondhand birks that I bought off Depop for a steal! I am a Birks/Genuines girl now. Don’t be afraid of secondhand shoes, they are such good value.

LIKING: I finally got my sourdough starter back to her bubbly self thanks to the addition of rye flour. She’s 12 years old and still kicking!

This is a shortened version of the usual list. I hope that’s OK, I’m sure it is. I’ll see you soon, hopefully, less melancholic and cooler (temperature-wise!) than I am today.

Talk soon xx