Best Self

How do you be a middle age lady these days?

Hey friends. I need to process some thoughts, and I was going to do them in my journal, but I think I need some outside input. Please feel free to chime in below with any thoughts or advice!

So far, this year seems to be my year of burnout. I’ve felt burnt out at work, with parenting, and now I feel burnt out trying to figure out how to be a middle-aged woman in 2025. I don’t know how I am supposed to be anymore.

Below are two reels I’ve sent my friend that feel like they kind of explain some of my feelings.

bigtimeadulting

A post shared by @bigtimeadulting

And this too

dr_robynehd

A post shared by @dr_robynehd

I have been on what feels like a lifelong pursuit of being my “best” self. My best self usually means skinniest, but has also meant healthiest, most productive, most in control, most enlightened version of me.

I cannot remember a long period of time since I was about 14 when I felt good about myself. I have had short periods when I have felt good about how I am doing, but I cannot sustain anything long-term. I seem to always think there is a better version of me out there if I just try hard enough. And lately, I have felt overwhelmed with the idea of having to do so many things just to be a so-called “healthy” middle-aged lady.

For months now, I have been focused on getting my protein and lifting weights three times a week. It’s been fine until 3 weeks ago when I went away, and now I don’t want to do it anymore.

I’ve been dealing with low stomach acid and chronic constipation, both seem to be exacerbated by my inability to deal with long-term stress. I have been trialling new things (a different magnesium supplement for my bowels and a concoction I made to drink before meals to help with the low stomach acid), along with breathing exercises and rest to help with the stress.

Let’s not forget I try to hit 25 grams of fibre a day, drink more than 2 litres of water, overcome my inability to fall asleep before midnight so that I have the energy to be a mum, a wife and do my job.

I’m taking my calcium, B vitamins and D3 supplements, my antidepressants, my beta blockers to stop my hormonal headaches, and now I’ve added my HRT to my regimen too. All this to feel “good” and look after my older self.

I journal for fun and to help me process thoughts. I write in a gratitude journal. I do yoga twice a week (it’s part of my work day, so that’s good) . I try to make time for hobbies, read before bed and be a good mum. I’ve been a bit of a monster during peri, so I also have to make sure I don’t burn my marriage to the ground because quite often my brain tells me that divorcing my husband of 24 years will solve all my problems, even though I love him.

So yeah, I don’t know what to do anymore. I am in a state of decision fatigue and overwhelm. Rationally, I know I don’t need to do ALL of these things, but this ridiculous part of my brain constantly whispers, “But if you do, maybe you’ll be your best self?” And we all want to be our best selves, right? Right?

I don’t know any more friends, at this moment I don’t know if I DO want to be my best self. Maybe I want to be my mediocre self? Because I’m lazy and I am tired and sick of it all. But here’s the kicker, I will only want to be my mediocre self for a short amount if time before beginning the whole fucking cycle again! It is INSANITY!!! What is wrong with me?????

Be truthful, is this just a me thing? Do you feel pressure to do all these things to be a healthy, sane, good middle-aged lady, so that you are a healthy, sane, good old lady with a body and mind that still functions? Do you succumb to the pressure? Or have you found a happy medium? Or. Are you happy being your mediocre self? Tell me what to do because, as you can see, I don’t know anymore.

Talk soon xx