Achievment versus Alignment

Which one are you striving for?

Photo by Brock Wegner on Unsplash

Hi friends. It feels nice to sit down & write something other than my monthly catch-up (I’ll still be doing that at the end of May!). I’ve been keeping much (all) of my brain dumps & emotional shuffling in my journal the last month or two, & that feels right, but this topic, achievement versus alignment, is something I thought maybe we could chat about.

Earlier this week, I was listening to the latest episode of Shailey & Katie’s Lemonade Stand podcast, where they were discussing achievement versus alignment. Podcast host Katie Day, who is a habit coach (stay with me!), says that achievement is usually external, while alignment is deeply internal. Alignment comes from living & making decisions based on our values, while achievement is about external wins. When you are feeling “off” about life, it could be because you aren’t making decisions that align with your values & instead are basing them on achievement or even what you think you should value or achieve.

I won’t lie, friends, this was a HUGE lightbulb moment for me listening to this podcast & I haven’t stopped thinking about it all week.

I have often felt as though I am not achieving all the things society tells me make for a good or successful life. I had kids young (& again when I was older). I married young. I never chased a career. I don’t have a travel bucket list. I don’t love being a mindless consumer (although I do do this when I am not OK & trying to fill a gap). I have many moments in my adult life where I have felt as though I am not doing things “right” because my choices have been different. I have questioned myself so often, wondering why I don’t want what other people want.

And now I can see that I have always chosen alignment over achievement. And that is right for me.

When I was 20 & found out I was pregnant, I was doing a management course. I could have chosen to have an abortion (something many people thought I should have done) & done the course so I had some qualifications. But I always knew I wanted to be a young mum (maybe not 20 but still), so I chose to have the baby with the boy I had only been back in a relationship with for 3 months.

Many times over the years, I have been asked to interview for jobs that would give me a “career”, offer me a step up the ladder, but I have always turned them down because I never wanted to be a full-time working mum. I wanted to pick my kids up from school & be with them as much as possible. So I kept working the casual jobs for minimum wage & kept my hours as close to school hours as I could.

I’ve travelled outside Australia twice, both times in the last 3 years, to New Zealand to see my sister. I’ve seen a lot of Australia, but travel isn’t important to me. Sure, I like a holiday, but I like coming home most of all. I like being home best.

I know we live in a world that wants us to consume 24/7, but for me, I feel best when I consume less. I feel best when I am sticking to my self-imposed budget, when I am not buying for a quick dopamine hit & when I am not constantly consuming content online.

While listening to the podcast, it became clear to me that I prioritise alignment over achievement & suddenly I felt so much better about my life. I didn’t feel like I was failing or being left behind. I didn’t feel like I was making the wrong choices. I felt like I was, & always had been, making choices based on MY values, not on what I thought I should be valuing. And what a relief that is!

There is no wrong choice between achievement and alignment; it all comes down to what feels best for you & how your choices reflect your values. How does your gut feel when you make a decision? I think our bodies can tell us a lot, but often we don’t listen, or choose not to listen. The good thing is, we can almost always make a different choice! We can course-correct if we don’t feel the life we are living is aligned with our values.

Maybe you’ve read this & thought “der Reannon, I already knew this”, or you are someone who has never felt like they are behind in life & questioned their choices. But maybe I’ve just shared something that has made you look at things in a whole new light. I love it when that happens for me. I feel like I am on a lifelong quest to understand & accept myself, & listening to a podcast just helped me do that.

Feel free to let me know your thoughts & feelings on achievement & alignment, I’d love to know what you strive for & why.

Have a good weekend, friends.

Talk soon xx